how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk is not a location!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
