I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm bleeding and have questions
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
