those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
