I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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