Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
