...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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