I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
