is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
