i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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