Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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