I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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