But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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