His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
