**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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