so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
