So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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