Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
