you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
