i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
