State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
