Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
