Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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