My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
