The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
