He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
