Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
