I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
