I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
