Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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