The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
