i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
