Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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