She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
