try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
