she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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