He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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