im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
