I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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