I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
