I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The air was thick with penises
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize