I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
