the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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