New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
