Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am mentally ready for anal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
