Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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