Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
