Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
