You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
