ugly people sure do ruin things
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We are two peas in an std pod
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
