I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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