They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
