It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you didnt know i had herpes?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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