why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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