she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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