Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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