oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
