I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
