Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
