She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
